Feeling the Feelings

I resisted today’s exercise from Janelle, so much that it’s four days ago’s exercise. I like the exercises that I can be very cerebral about, that I can reflect on, be clever with words with. Day five’s exercise required none of that. It asked that I listen to a recording of Janelle guiding me through stroking one of my hands with three different objects in order to stimulate my sense of touch, and my ability to receive sensation, and pleasure.  And then to free write for 5 and 15 minutes after. I did it.

I loved the exercise. But I know I did it because I told her in a Facebook comment that I was doing it today, and because I had signed up for this short course.  If there was no accountability, I probably wouldn’t have.

The first object (a metal cup) made me aware of my hand and the exercise. The second object (a pen) woke me up. I felt turned on, alive, pleasured. My mind went off in search of a project with this new found experience, how could I “use” it. But I was reminded by Janelle to simply allow it to be. How could I receive.  The third object (some wool) I felt comforted and embodied.

One of my favourite pieces of writing is The Charge of the Goddess by Doreen Valiente.  This exercise reminded me of it, in particular, the lines:

Let my worship be within the heart that rejoiceth, for behold: all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals. And therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honour and humility, mirth and reverence within you

This post is day five of my personal responses to ‘Honouring the Darkness’, a ten day reflective period leading up to the winter solstice, facilitated by daily emails from Janelle Hardy at http://www.janellehardy.com/hearthome/

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