To force myself to write something today, I asked the question “What is it my soul wants to express in writing?” and drew a tarot card from the Druidcraft deck.
Strength is my favourite card in the whole deck. It’s one that speaks to me of many things.
But what does it say today?
It tells me that I can love those unruly parts of myself. The lazy bits, the sex obsessed parts, the “unproductive” parts, the indulgent, the biscuit eating and porn watching. It reminds me that owning all that is power, and strength, and vitality. I may be on this “spiritual” path, but the person walking it is animal.
Thinking today about a man I am attracted to, I was reminded of how wonderfully one track my mind can be. I love the hunt, the quest, the animal attraction I feel at times. There is so much aliveness in that. Breath and heart beat. Eyes and blood vessels dilating. Take more light in, more oxygen in. Asking: What makes me come alive? When does my soul sing? When does my hear rejoice?
Doing wild and crazy things with my tribes. Sleeping as long as I need to. Passionate embraces.
Disappearing into the dance.
And in there is also wisdom, growth, the knowing smile that I’ve been here before.Every time around I learn something new. I am wisdom and passion, care and recklessness. I know this man, this animal. I care about him. I mind him. He reminds me to let loose, to love even when it hurts, to retreat to lick my wounds, to burn fiercely and brightly, to hunt, to chase, to indulge. We walk together, senses alive, in strange lands. We walk alone to high places together. We dance together, with our wild and beautiful tribes, hearts open, tears flowing, joy surging.