Sometimes I hurt people

Day 74 of #100Daychallenge

IMG_6890-EFFECTS

Sometimes I hurt people. I never intend to. There have been times where I have felt defenceless and raw and I have lashed out with everything I have. And in those circumstances I don’t care. At times like that, I’m not very enlightened or advanced. There are other times when I hurt people because I’ve been careless and blind to other people’s needs and feelings.

I’ve done that a few times on this blog. I have committed to writing every day for 100 days. Sometimes it is late at night when I write and I’ll take any idea, run with it, and post it. My inspiration is usually my life and my interactions. Often the posts have been about my reflections on things that are very current for me. That might be a poem helping me to process a feeling I’ve had, or a long post about a relationship dynamic. And sometimes, it has been using annecdotes from years ago, telling only my side of things in a throwaway comment.

I’ve had a few messages from people over the last few weeks telling me what they’ve enjoyed in my writing. I’ve had a couple, too, telling me what they’ve not enjoyed. Sometimes I have written for me, not thinking about the impact it will have on the reader, particularly if we know each other. I have written about friends, about lovers. Is that right?

My personal challenge then, to myself, is this: find out how do I take inspiration from my life, reflect on it, even make light of it, without using other people, without disregarding their feelings? It’s going to require a maturity and a compassion that I sometimes lack in my blindspots. So, to everyone I’ve used as material, and forgotten about you as a person who might read it, I am sorry, I’ll try better.

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