I Judge Thee

Day 31 of #100Daychallenge


I was around someone recently who doesn’t know how to ask for what they want. It’s a common thing. It’s often me.  I don’t think this person knows they’re doing it, and they’re not receptive to feedback, so I did the opposite of what I preached. I complained about their communication style behind their back. What hypocrisy. So what do I want? If I judge them for not asking, not knowing, what do I want in that relationship?

What I wanted at that moment, was to be able to communicate my frustration but it felt like a cruel thing to do, so I said nothing. I disconnected, withdrew, and then bitched about it. I said nothing because I knew from previous experience that all attempts I’d made to connect had backfired. However, on reflection I can see that I was trying to change them. Rather than coming to them with compassion, I came with my judgements. And the result was unpleasant, disconnected, and cold.  And that’s not what I wanted.


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