You Read This

Day 27 of #100Daychallenge  
I’m glad you’re still reading this. I appreciate the odd message you send me to tell me so. Sometimes I wonder about who reads all this. I know you’re one of them and you’re a friend, so that’s okay. Sometimes I wonder about the judgement out there, about me. You’ve only ever told me that you find it interesting when I write, no matter what I write about. We’re not the closest of friends but I trust you. You know quite a lot about me. I think we’ve inspired each other, supported each other to be better, more. Thank you for that. 

So, I’m glad you’re out there reading this. I do hold myself back on here. I like to share stuff that’s happened to me. I don’t like to share my opinions about the way the world is, or what I think people should be or do. It’s not that I’m wonderfully enlightened, free from bitchy judgements. Far from it. It’s that, aside from you and a few friends, I don’t know who’s reading it. And I don’t want to have to defend my opinions against the dark unknowns of the Internet. But it’s coming to that soon. 

The personal challenge for me in starting this 100 Day Challenge was to continually make my voice heard, and to say something. You know, from all we’ve talked about, that that’s not always been easy for me. But the next 70 posts are going to be interesting for me. I might say the wrong thing. I might be judged and misquoted. I might be uninteresting. That’s the risk, but I’m sure you’ll continue to send me the occasional supportive message, telling me my words were interesting to you. Thank you. 

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3 thoughts on “You Read This

  1. Indeed, some of your posts have been challenging, and I have struggled at times to share a response . . . at least in words that get posted and seem more permanent than our experiences . . . though glad you continue to post and share. In some ways your posts help me challenge and understand myself.

      • Challenging in ways that I struggle with as well, often without wanting to do so in such a public manner or not seemingly able to resolve as readily as you seem to. In ways, such public airing could become problematic given the permanency of online communications or the suppositions that others may have. Indeed, this points to the value of working through these here, though as a spectator who dips in and out of the 100 days of sense-making, there can be great personal challenges as well as satisfactions. I read your words and at times can relate, and then relate deeply, while at other times not. However, like biographical confession, it is also deeply humbling to share, only on a high level, what incremental revelations can accomplish. I know it is not fair to read your words through my experiences, but as a reader I have no other way to do so. In this way, some areas that you touch on are not easily able to put back into a box, as if life could ever be so simple. Keep writing; it seems to agree with you. While I do not know any of your readers, I find value in this exercise of yours. Thank you for sharing the journey.

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