Tonight, I was scheduled to meet a friend for a few hours. It didn’t happen. She was busy and the meeting was continuously delayed. I got really annoyed. I sent several texts asking where she was. For me, my calendar is sacrosanct: when I schedule it, it must happen. And if it doesn’t, there’d better be a good reason.
I schedule everything in my diary. I love seeing my week planned ahead of me. I use google calendar synced with my iphone and my macbook. As soon as I make an appointment, be that a coffee date or a class I’m giving, it goes in the diary. My partner and I both use google calendar and I’ve given him permission to see mine so we can make plans.
I remember when I was younger, my parents had year planners on the wall. To me it seemed that life was so empty when you had to plan it all out. Now, the opposite seems true to me. The more I put in my calendar, the freer I feel. I don’t have to worry about remembering all those events. I can plan to do things. And if I tell someone I’m going to be somewhere, I will be there. I have had experiences in the not-too-distant past where a Sunday coffee date was cancelled due to hangover. In my book, that’s not good enough.
Part of the reason I was so annoyed tonight was that I didn’t really do much instead. In waiting for my friend to arrive, I didn’t start anything. I just waited and checked my phone for texts. There are lessons for me in this. Firstly, I reminded my friend that I hate being stood up and/or left waiting. Usually I am more forgiving but the lesson I heard loud and clear is that this isn’t acceptable behaviour and that I expect more from my friends. This particular friend is particularly bad at time keeping. I’ll let her off. Secondly, I need to have a backup plan. When I make a coffee date in a café, I don’t mind the other person being late; there are people to look at and I usually have my kindle with me. That’s the back up plan there. I didn’t do that tonight. I should have. I had dishes to do and calls to make but I didn’t do them. That probably annoys me more than being stood up.
I don’t want to sound like I’m whinging. (I am whinging but I don’t want to sound like it.) I’m pretty relaxed in life but I hate being stood up at the last minute.
If you think you can’t make it, let me know in advance and we can cancel or reschedule.