Come Out Sooner

I came out as gay shortly after university. I knew I was gay all through uni but I was afraid to name it. I couldn’t cross that doorway into life. I waited until I had no choice, until my heart was ready to burst and my voice ached to speak the truth.

I don’t live with any regrets. I have lived the life I have so far and I did what I could when I could. However, if I were to advise anyone in the same position I would say come out and be out for your time at Uni. There is so much to be enjoyed during that time that I didn’t explore to its fullest. I socialised with a small circle of friends. I explored my intellect but not my heart.

I sometimes wonder what it would have been like to be part of the LGBT Society. I wonder what it would have been like to date and to enjoy being me. Who would I be now if that was the path I had taken?

When I came out, college had finished and I had nothing to hide behind. There were no final exams and no dissertations to distract me, to divert my attention. I was alone with myself. I told a friend or two but my connection to my college friends was gone. I followed my own path, following this new freedom. I wonder sometimes if I could have kept those friendships. If I had come out during uni, would the thread of friendship have continued beyond?

I’ll never know. And I don’t want to know.

My path has led me here.


2 thoughts on “Come Out Sooner

  1. sennoma says:

    I agree, come out during university, but be sure of your decision. I go to a small, private Baptist- associated university, and I wouldn’t ever dream of shouting out that I’m a part of the LGBT society. Sure, a couple of people know. Those I went to high school with know. Close friends that I made at university know, but not the whole university. The issue with the whole university knowing is the close mindedness that I would be faced with. Of course, it’s quite easy for them to find out, considering it’s not something that I hide. But still. If you go to a larger university, yes, come out during your uni years. If you go to a smaller university of college, be sure that you’re ready for the response that you may get. This also applies to a larger university, but in a smaller environment it tends to have a bigger impact.

  2. Hi Sennoma, thanks for that thoughtful reply. I hadn’t thought about smaller universities and colleges. Most of the colleges here in Ireland are sizeable. Blessings.

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